Jealousy.

Jealous
Adj--Feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages (often fol. by of): He was jealous of his rich brother.

When it comes down to it, I am a jealous person. Sometimes I have those moments where I think, "Oh, I'm not that jealous. I don't have to have things just because someone else does," but by the definition Dictionary.com gave me, I am.

I actually am jealous of my brother. He's smarter than me, more athletic than me, and more popular than me. When it comes down to it, I'm still glad that I'm me, not him because he doesn't have the will to apply himself, but still it's a bit of that "ouch" factor that makes me sometimes wish and wonder why I'm not as talented as he is.

I'm extremely jealous with my boys, the ones that are friends. As a generalization, I think girls are evil manipulative creatures that just want to have drama, flirt, and play around. This makes me extremely protective of my guy friends. It's also a bit that I'm jealous of their time. I don't care who you are, you'll never spend as much time with your friends once you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and for high school kids, it seems to be impossible to understand that you still want to keep your friends around and NOT neglect them, not because they won't be there for you later but because friendships are (or at least should be) stronger than high school relationships.

Lastly, I'm jealous when it comes to him. In my past relationship, I totally freaked out about my ex's exes. It was partially due to the situation I was in, but the loathing I had for the most recent ex was inexcusable. I'm somewhat better now. When I see him with other girls, I still get jealous but more of a sad feeling comes with it. That sad feeling sucks so badly. . .It's kind of this gray emptiness that eats away at me from the inside, that I wish I could just throw up and forget about, yet I can't as hard as I try. But I guess me being sad is better than me hating someone, correct?

I don't understand why people try to make others jealous, romantically at least. If you care about someone or even have an interest in him/her, wouldn't you want to keep him/her happy? Why would you want to make him/her sad or hateful towards another person? I honestly don't feel that it makes me like him any more when he talks about other girls, so why does he? And yet, I consider trying to make him jealous, even though it kills me when he does it. (I'm not sure whether or not I play the whole "jealousy" card very often, but like to think I don't. I guess I'll have to start paying more attention.) The worst part is there are so many other people who do the same thing, so I know I'm not just some crazy freak. Is it innate? Is it picked up as we watch other people do it? It makes me wonder. . .