I'm Tired.

Tired of him falling in love with my best friend. Tired of revisiting where I have been. Tired of coming home again. (That was a total take from Lucky, just in case you're completely slow.)

I'm sick of being abused (not physically). I feel like certain people can do the same thing over and over and think that they can get away with it by merely apologizing. I can't take the emotional abuse, it's exhausting. I feel jaded. Like everyone has been taking and taking from me, yet they rarely chose to give back. I know I have more than I should ever ask for, but I just get so frustrated.

I kind of want solitude for once. I want to stay home for a week and not have my family around. If I feel lonely that's fine. I want the peaceful environment that comes with the loneliness. I can't really get that in my house. There's always someone who needs me to do something, or someone barging in, or someone just nagging me.
Random--I think I'm becoming a masochist. Just barely, but enough for me to notice it.

Oh well, now that the stress is all blogged out--This weekend was amazing.
Thursday--Got out late, we just got our stuff out and chilled. CHERRY STEM TYING WIN. That was so much fun. We all just snacked & tied until like 1:30AM. Oh & I met Lauren, Ali's sister. I LOVE HER. She's just chill with a sardonic touch. My type of person.
Friday--Wake boarding was okay. I got up but not very well. My equilibrium is just that terrible. It's so easy off the boom though! I got burnt a bit, not terribly though. Inner tubing was awesome. We all messed up our elbows though. OH and the jet skiis (stand up ones) were real entertaining. And the Sea Doo was alot of fun.
Saturday--Jet skiis and Sea Doo all morning, and then we went in for worship. Deep thinking. The boat malfunctioned, so we didn't go out. We almost sunk Mike's boat because we didn't put the cap on! There was like at least 5" of water in the boat.
Sunday--Knee boarding WIN. That was surprisingly entertaining. Wake boarding win-ish. That darn thing. I can't figure out what to do once I'm up. Haha.

Ahh. I wonder if this tired feeling is how God feels. I know he loves us unconditionally and so much beyond what we can express to others and merely understand, but after a while it seems as if you can't help growing tired. All we do is greedily take more and more. We hurt Him, promise not to do it again, yet fall anyway. It's hard to understand how His love can really be unfailing. I think I felt His love a bit more than usual this weekend. It's almost scary. How do you forgive someone who has caused you so much pain? Simone was telling us about this lady whose family was killed in Rwanda and she forgave the murderer and even let him live with her. How do you do that? How can you be filled with that much compassion and forgiveness? I guess it's just another reason to look forward to heaven.