What's the Cause?

I'm in such a terrible mood right now. I feel so sad, alone even. The worst part is I know that I have at least five friends I could call right now who would be willing to talk to me about it, who would be willing to try to cheer me up, but I don't want to talk. Do I want to feel pain right now? Do I want to sit here and wallow in self pity? What's wrong with me? Right now, I don't even know why I feel like this, it's ridiculous. It's my head, why can't I figure out what's going on?

I really wish I had somewhere I could go to for complete and utter silence, where I could just sit and be alone. Room's don't work. I can hear other people's screams through these paper thin walls. Even up on the roof I hear passing cars, dogs, and moronic neighbors; plus my parents are barely thrilled to hear I'm scaling up to the roof. I want a sanctuary, a safe haven. I miss the lake.