I feel like I'm drifting.

and not in the cool car manner. I was thinking in the shower today, and I feel like my spiritual relationship with God is weakening. I don't think that it's because all of my problems are over either. I think it may have something to do with the big fight that I got in with my dad. I may have subconsciously been ignoring God because then I would feel guilty for being mad at my dad, yet I still feel as if I have a legitimate reason to be mad. At any rate, my prayer time is going down rapidly. . . I used to spend my shower praying for friends or thinking at least, singing Jesus songs, anything spiritual, but now it's hard to keep my mind from wandering. I know it's probably not the best time to have my daily devotional, but it's just what works best for me. I have a lot of trouble being alone at home and that's really the only time that I really have to myself. . .

On a less serious note, today was an interesting day. Work was exhausting. I got to work with some people from the Yellow Group (the more "normal" ones, if you will). I like them better. I'm not sure why, but I just get along with them better. I think I'll be working with them next time. But back to the Blue Group. I found a lady who reminds me a lot of my grandma. She has the same facial structure and speaks the same. The only obvious difference is Hannah has red hair (dyed of course) and is Hawaiian. I was really liking Hannah, until she snapped at me for trying to take her decoration to hang it up. . . oh well. I think she has Alzheimer's. Today was a bad day for the staff though. At the beginning of each month all the patients have to be weighed, and one of the patients collapsed and took a nurse down with him. The nurse is now on light work (I forgot the word. . .). Another of the patients seized today. I know it's bad, but I'm kind of sad that I missed it. I think it would have been cool to see a seizure in real life instead of on House for once. . .

After work I went to the hair stylist with Shun-yan. Turns out the lady who does my hair, Roxy, is on maternity leave! Trish, my old hair stylist, was busy all day so she suggested Lauren (haha, Big Blue!), and well. . . let's just say Shun-yan isn't very please. I feel terrible about that. . . We went to her house after and I met Helen. It's scary how alike they are.

I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to run for senior office. I may just go SA. . .I'm tired of working my butt off for my class and nobody noticing. I know I don't really have the right to complain, but I have to be honest--it's frustrating
to work so hard yet make nobody happy. It's hard to lose office positions to people who don't do anything as an officer until the end of the year. Oh well, that's high school for ya. But I think I'll try out SA second semester, and we'll see what happens from there . . .

I've decided. This is the summer to mend that certain friendship. If it doesn't happen now, it might never. He's willing to patch things up, and I'm going to make an effort to. I was the wrong one, and I still got the longer end of the stick. This is also the summer where I will try something new. Hopefully no one will get hurt, and if something does happen. . . well that's what happens when you play with fire. There may not be a literal warning label on the flint, but it's assumed.

There wasn't really a deep thought today. . . My first paragraph was supposed to be it, but I failed. Oh well, asta la vista.

I'm out until Sunday in Barstow with Nicole, the girlies, and the AUSTRALIANS. I'm very excited. ^-^ Watch me come back more burnt than a piece of toast. I'm going to try to keep journaling & post it when I return, but no promises.

Peace.